So GloZell is THE funniest black woman in the world. She should be a celebrity up there with Oprah and Michelle Obama. Seriously, I love her videos on YouTube. The other day I caught up on what I've missed of hers over the past few months and man was I really missing out. I don't really feel like posting all of the videos I liked because you can look them up yourself if you are really interested. I'm just going to list some of my favorite GloZell quotes from the videos that I watched. I know not everyone appreciates her like I do, so I won't feel bad if you have no interest in this post.
Ke$ha's song Cannibal: I'm not really a Ke$ha fan, but I love when GloZell tries to figure out her songs. GloZell switches between calling Ke$ha Ketchup and Cashew. Cracks me up. In previous videos GloZell has mentioned her "AAA Meetings" when talking about celebs with issues (you know she means AA, but uses AAA for humor purposes). In this video she says, "Now Ketchup, I can't have you goin' to my triple A meeting and you chompin' on folks. Okay? I didn't know I needed to have like a Silence of the Lambs area just for you." I've never seen this movie, but I know one of the famous lines is something like "I ate his liver with some fava beans". Very fitting GloZell. Cannibalistic movie tied in with a cannibalistic song. She ends by saying, "I better stop talking about this white girl. She might eat some dark meat and then I'll be in trouble." HAHAHA...Love it!
Justin Bieber's Movie - Never Say Never: "I wanna know, does he have a forehead? If some time during that movie this is lifted (she's referring to his signature hair style with his bangs brushed forward) and we can see his forehead, then it is worth the money to go see the movie." GloZell is curious as to what's going to be in the movie. "Are they going to chronologicalize the whole 365 days of his life?" So true about a documentary for a sixteen year old. Way to dis his age G.
Katy Perry's song Firework: *Lyrics will be italicized* Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin?Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in. "No. Nope. I gotta say I've never felt thin. I'm 245 lbs. I'm 5'10. Nope, never felt thin." Make 'em say oh, oh, oh as you shoot across the sky-y-y. "Um, yeah. If I shot across the sky people would go oh, oh, oh. Oh thar she blows! She said this in a pirate accent...how cool is GloZell? One of the best parts of the video is when she's talking about the meaning behind the song (that she gets from watching the music video) and she says, "As long as there's fireworks shootin' out your breasteses, it's all good." I laughed so hard.
And then at the end she says, "Last time she was wearing cupcakes." She's talking about the California Gurls music video where Katy Perry was wearing a cupcake bra. Katy Perry is weird.
Willow Smith's song Whip My Hair: GloZell thinks Willow's rapping doesn't sound like a nine year old. "This chick is 9, okay? Can you whip yo behind back into the 3rd grade cause that's where ya needs to be." One line from the song is Hop out of bed and turn my swag on. GloZell says, "You ain't got no swag, you nine years old!" Talking about whipping hair back and forth, "Okay, first of all you need to have hair to whip back and forth. She gone and shaved like half her hair off so..." Basically this whole video is great and I could keep quoting it but I won't. The ending of the video is THE BEST. Period. She ends by saying, "I whip my hair back and forth. Shoot, I can whip my hair off!" (AS SHE PULLS OFF HER WIG!!!) I just about died laughing.
Basically, GloZell is AMAZING and I would love to spend a day with her. I mean, the things she comes up with. How does she do it? Love her.
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