Hired!

Guess who's finally got a new job? THIS GIRL! It's been a long time coming. Too long actually, but I'm glad the search is finally over. I will be a Billing Specialist at Bluehost. Training starts on the 8th. I was surprised because I didn't feel that confident about the interview. But the recruiter told me I was in the top two candidates out of all the people they interviewed and hired. It was a group of 12 people. So I felt pretty awesome. Since they liked me so much, they were willing to work with me and give me a great shift. During the interview I could tell they were pushing the swing shift of 1:30-10 PM. That would have been terrible. I'm glad it worked out so I still have my evenings free. I do have to work every Saturday, which is a bit of a bummer, but I think I might like having a day off in the middle of the week. Anyway, this is really short post, I just wanted to share the good news.

Lessons of Faith

If you've been reading my blog lately, you'll know that it's been a goal of mine to work on developing my faith. I've been seriously lacking in that spiritual department and I've been praying a lot more regularly to help with the process. At church today, all three talks were so perfect and inspired. I love those moments when you hear something right when you need it!

These are the things that resonated with me the most:

It's okay if your faith is imperfect. Imperfect faith does not mean we are less worthy.

I cannot stress how much I needed this! It's hard living in the Provo bubble where it seems like everyone else around me has the most solid testimony and such strong faith. Everyone else is so much more righteous. Everyone else is more worthy and receiving more blessings. Isn't that a terrible and self damaging attitude to have?

It's only been recently as I've been going through some trials that I've noticed how blessed I really am. I am worthy of receiving blessings and of my Heavenly Father's love. Yes, my faith is imperfect. Honestly, whose isn't? I know I'm striving to be better and continually doing the things that I'm supposed to and that's all I can do. This leads perfectly to the next statement I loved.

It's not okay to be content with our level of faith.
Right now I know it's something I definitely need to work on because it's not where I'd like it to be. Faith, just like conversion to the gospel or strengthening your testimony, is an ongoing process. It's so easy to just become stagnant. Our faith can't change and grow if we're not doing anything differently. I'm really pleased with the progress I've been making in this department and it can only get better.

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.
I've shared this quote by President Uchtdorf in post before and I'll probably keep sharing it, because it's that good. Iv'e had a recent experience with this recently while job searching. It's been a long, frustrating, and discouraging process trying to get a new job. Looking for a new job is like a job itself. I had a few interviews that I felt went okay but I didn't get the jobs.

There was one place that finally called me back to offer me a job, and I figured they would, but I didn't have a great feeling about it. I told a white lie saying I had an interview with another company the next day so I would call them back to let them know my decision. After the call, I said a quick prayer hoping that things would work out and that I needed something else to come along. I knew I wouldn't like the company and that the work environment wouldn't have been good for me. They had actually told me upfront that while they "aren't sailors or anything" they do use choice words quite often and that I should be comfortable with it. Not even 10 minutes later, I received a call for an interview with another company. Heavenly Father answers prayers. It may not always be that fast, but he always answers. He really does care about our feelings and knows exactly what we need and when we need it.

I didn't end up getting that job, even after doing a second interview. I thought I did great and they even had me stay and observe to see what the job would be like so I thought I had it. But I was wrong. That's when I started to have doubts. I doubted that I made the wrong choice about turning down the job offer. I started to doubt the bad feelings I had about it, even though I clearly had made the right choice and I had prayed about it. Then I realized that's exactly what Satan does. He makes you doubt what you know. He attacks you when you're weak and vulnerable. I needed to doubt my doubts instead of my faith. I'm grateful for these little learning opportunities

Holy Cow!

This is my 200th post!! It's crazy to think that I have felt the need to write or document things this many times. I don't really have anything to write about so I will just share a couple videos I made. 

I've been watching a lot of vloggers (video bloggers), particularly British ones, on YouTube lately and it's really entertaining to just watch them live their lives. Maybe it's because I can live vicariously trough them since my life is going nowhere right now or maybe it's just their accent that draws me in. Either way, it prompted me to film a few of the adventures my roommates and I have gone on. I'm finding I really enjoy editing the videos, even though it's kind of a lot of work. It's been nice having projects to work on as my job search continues. Enjoy!

Room Enough For Him

In Sunday school at church, we were talking about the parables in Matthew 13. The first one is the parable of the sower. Some seeds fell on stony ground and they withered away because they had no root. Some fell among thorns and grew, but the thorns choked them out. Others fell on good ground and grew successfully. It was the perfect lesson for me. Right now, I'm like the thorny ground. My faith and testimony are alive and growing, but it's hard not to let other things stop them from growing more. As I've mentioned in past posts, I'm working on developing my faith and doing better at my daily scripture study and prayers. I know that if I keep doing the things I'm supposed to, I'll develop into the good ground.

This lesson reminded me of a song by Jenny Phillips. I couldn't find a YouTube video of it already made, so I made my own video with a picture that I really love. 

Klaire Bear

Eight years ago today, the baby of my family was born. I was lucky enough to be at the hospital when Klaire Ann Bitter was born and one of the first people to hold her. I was also able to sleep at the hospital and help out with taking care of her. I remember getting little sleep and answering the nurse's questions about feedings and diaper changes. I basically did everything I could to make sure my mom got as much rest possible. I think the only time I wasn't holding Klaire was when I was taking a nap here & there and when she was eating. I loved having that special time and having her all to myself. Ahhh, the perks that come with being the oldest.

Since she is so much younger than I am and I've lived in a different state for more than half her life, we're not as close as I am with my other sisters. But I still love her and miss her. I think my last trip home was one of the best times I have had with her. We had fun playing games, doing each other's  hair (more like her turning mine into a giant knot), taking selfies and doing other things. I can't wait until she is older so we can do more together and have more in common. Right now she's got some major attitude and she's pretty spoiled (she is the baby after all). I'm excited to see what kind of young women she becomes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KLAIRE BEAR!

I love you!!

Life Lately

On Sunday, we made breakfast for some friends. Their apartment won it at the service auction we had at church...back in November. It was Shaina's birthday so it was the perfect day to do it. One person is gluten-free and another is a vegetarian. That made things a little more difficult when planning what to make, but Pinterest is full of great suggestions. I found these little pancake kabobs and fell in love with the idea. They were extremely easy and delicious! We used gluten-free pancake mix, bananas, strawberries and nutella. Mini pancakes are the cutest! We also made some hash browns and gave them orange juice. 

On Monday, we had an egg themed ward FHE. We were split into two teams and the team with the least amount of cracked eggs won. They didn't announce a definitive winner. We were all winners and got some Easter candy. There was an egg toss, egg roulette, and a relay. The best part was watching people play egg roulette. Some eggs were raw while others were hard boiled and you had to crack it on your head. There were left over eggs at the end and everyone who wanted to do it again did. I took a video. 

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I didn't wear green, but I painted my nails green and gold. Sarah, Brianna and I went to see Disney's new live action Cinderella movie. We had been preparing for this by watching different versions of Cinderella the week before. I thought this remake was very well done and will be adding it to my collection when it's available.

 We wore dresses (sorry you can't tell from the pictures, because we looked awesome) and tiaras to the movie. I wonder how the guy at the box office knew what movie we were there to see :) Sarah always has a hard time finding the camera on my phone whenever we take pictures.

After the movie we went and got drinks at Sonic. Love me some Ocean Water!

Then we went to Smith's so Sarah could buy ingredients to make dinner since she was unable to help get the breakfast ready on Sunday. She made homemade Mac & Cheese with SPAM. So yummy! The cashier loved our tiaras and was very happy to talk about Cinderella. 

Much better Sarah! Took this before she started cooking. Not pictured: The two of us had our own little dance party while dinner was cooking. Brianna was outside reading. The weather has been sooo wonderful lately!

Later in the evening, Sarah and I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (her choice). I curled her hair since she just recently got it cut and I wanted to play around with it. She returned the favor and played with mine. There is just something magical about someone brushing and playing with your hair. We also gave each other back tickles. 

I also ate a late night bowl of Lucky Charms to celebrate the holiday.

Some other things worth mentioning...

I've gotten better at praying daily and reading my scriptures. With morning prayers, it's still usually an after thought and happens later in the day, but I am praying and that's what matters. I'm much more consistent saying them before bed. I'm slowly getting better at reading my scriptures. Most of the time, I just fall asleep listening to them on my phone because I've been having really bad insomnia and the voice reading them is pretty soothing. My brain just won't stop and I start thinking and stressing about EVERYTHING. My sleep schedule is horrendous right now, but I'm glad to making some progress on these goals.

On Sunday night I had a talk with one of my old roommates and it was good for me because we talked about some spiritual stuff. She is struggling with the basics too. I know a lot of the people around me probably aren't as perfect as I think they are when it comes to daily prayer and scripture study, but they are much better and more consistent than I am so it was nice to find someone on a similar level. 

The spiritual thought given at FHE was on Faith! Again, perfect timing and just what I needed to hear. The thought was based on Ether 12:6-9

Someone on Facebook liked a post by Al Carraway (aka the "Tattooed Mormon"). I clicked on it and then ended up browsing her blog. I've read posts by her before, but I'm not a regular follower. I read this post by her and it fits my life perfectly right now! Not so much the whole marriage part, because I honestly don't think I'm ready for that yet, but to stop stressing and have faith. 

"Those who are single, don't waste your thoughts comparing yourself and defining yourself by what you aren't and by what others are. Don't allow yourself to question "what's wrong with you." Heavenly Father did not shortchange or screw up on you. Don't stress. You just worry about you and worry about God. Because the thing about Heavenly Father is that if we are trying and are patient, we will never be short-changed from the best blessings He has to offer. 

Yeah, sure our future can be uncertain at times, but how exciting that is! How exciting it is to know it's guided by God!

Happiness and unhappiness exists in the same exact place at the same exact time through different people. It's true, life is what you make it. Or it could be what we allow God to make it for us. What will you choose? Choose happiness. And to choose happiness is to choose God. Choose to keep going. Choose to trust. Choose to have faith. To keep your hope. And choose to receive the unexpected, but profoundly greater path with the best blessings. I promise, you'll be alright."

I love how there have been so many things just popping up that I've needed. I know it's not a coincidence. I'm sure this has been the case quite often in my life, I just haven't been in the mind set to notice. His hand really is in all things and prayers are always answered.

To sum up the last few days, life has been pretty great.

Picture Dump

I don't have anything to write about today so I'm going to just post a bunch of pictures, mainly from when I was home for Christmas break.

Me and my sisters, just missing the youngest

Me and Meeja

 We're babes

Love this girl

 First time meeting our cousin Bennett

He's such a cutie and great at taking selfies

Baby Avery

Christmas Eve 

Me and the youngest

Eating Lucky Charms at 2 AM because that's how we roll

Forget Starbucks...The West knows what's up! I wish Utah had Dutch Bros.

Cuddled with this girl and had some alone time

Last picture with the the famous PDX carpet 

at the Portland Airport before they replaced it :(

Fondue at Amber & Parker's for New Year's Eve

I left Amber's early to go over to Rachel & Lindsey's house to ring in the New Year. 

Lindsey and I had fun with the confetti.

Sarah gave me Milkis, a Korean drink, as one of my Christmas Presents and it was delicious. The can says "New feeling of soda beverage"...

My beloved Porter passed away and this was the box he was buried in

Since I don't want to end this post with a sad picture, here's some more pictures of me in my Kangaroo costume. I am SO in love with it and I happen to think I look great as Kangaroo.

Impeccable Timing

Heavenly Father is amazing! Really, he is. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. In yesterday's post I talked about exercising more faith in Him (and myself) while trying to figure things out. When I got on Facebook today, one of the first things I saw was this article that someone had shared and it was exactly what I needed. 

"See...sometimes the waiting period of our lives is the most important time in our life. It is during this period when nothing seems to be happening, when prayers seem to go unanswered, when God seems so far away that the most spiritual growth takes place in our lives. That we learn to become more like Him. It is during this time that we build spiritual “muscle”. That we grow in faith.That we learn to only depend on Him."

"Don't allow your waiting period to make you hopeless about what tomorrow will bring. Instead, let it build your faith and give you an even greater hope for what God has prepared for you."

How perfect is this? I needed this reminder that while my life seems to have no sense of purpose right now, I can be doing things to grow spiritually. I've been seriously lacking in this department and I'm resolved to make the necessary changes. I always hear people at church talking about how much happier and more at peace they feel when they do the little things like daily prayer and scripture study. I know it's true because I've seen the difference when I've done them. I'm just not consistent. I never have been. I think getting my feelings out here and reflecting over these last two days has really given me the push I need to change. I know it will take time and a real effort to fully establish these habits, but it will be so worth it. 

Something else happened today that really strengthened my testimony of Heavenly Father's love for me. It showed that he knows me and that I needed a boost because I've been feeling so down on myself for not having my life together. My sweet, sweet roommate Sarah handed me a note when she got home from school. It was something she had written during a class. Two parts really stood out me and I'll admit that my eyeballs became a little moist. I'm going to share them with you and if she ever comes across this, I hope she's okay with it. 

"I am writing this note to you, my friend, to tell you how much I appreciate you. You are always there for me and you encourage me to be better...You are so chill and calming when I am stressed and you are always good for a laugh :)" 

"I love you and keep being you, or in other words, keep being awesome!"

Her little note means so much to me! I don't think she knew just how badly I needed it. We have written each other notes before, but we don't do it very often and it has been a while since we last wrote each other.The fact that she wrote one, today of all days, is proof to me that Heavenly Father uses other people as answers to our prayers. 

In Psychology, there is a theory proposed by Abraham Maslow about the five fundamental human needs and how they motivate human behavior. The theory suggests that the most basic level of needs must be met before moving on to the higher levels. Maslow's hierarchy of needs are commonly depicted as a pyramid. It has been expanded a little bit to include more, but I'm just going to go with the basics here. 

Sarah helped me with two of them today.While I may not feel like I'm accomplishing anything in my life at the moment, it's nice to know that I am having a positive effect on someone around me. It's nice to feel loved and appreciated it. I needed to feel loved and appreciated. I'm so blessed to have her in my life! One day, hopefully in the not too distant future, I will set foot in the self actualization level. Until then, I plan to find joy in the journey and do what I can to start meeting my spiritual needs.

A great reminder from the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson

The Happier Side Of Life

The last post (my first post in over a year) was a real downer, but I really needed to get my feelings out. I suck when it comes to writing in a journal, I don't like my handwriting and it's just easier to blog. Plus, I'm pretty sure no one even reads this. In case anyone still does, I wanted to just share some photographic evidence to show that I don't feel like my sucks all the time.

After a BYU Divine Comedy Show

Later that same night

Sarah's birthday dinner at her family's home in Lehi

Sarah and Brianna wanted in the picture too

This sums us up pretty well

When Kaushay and Shaina (not pictured) came over to play Just Dance

Before we played a drinking game while watching Friends

My new hamster Guillermo...photogenic little guy, isn't he?

Eating...because that's what you do while watching the Super Bowl

Me, Kevin (zombie), Eddie, Shaina, Brianna

Our ward had a Warm Bodies themed activity on Friday the 13th instead of a regular Valentine's theme. Some people dressed up as a zombie. There was another ward having an activity in the room next door and let us use their photo booth. All of us except Kevin ended up going to the stake dance of Brianna's friend's cousin. Shaina's roommate Savannah ended up meeting us there later. It was a lot of fun.

After church one Sunday

Gangstas

I went to the Puppy Barn with Amber and Anjuli

Me and Kirstin after church...I curled her hair and she wanted a picture, 

though you can't see it very well

Sarah and I in our animal onesies. She got Tigger and I got a kangaroo. Kirstin got one too, a dinosaur. She wasn't home when we took this. She's actually rarely home because she basically lives on campus. No joke. She spends 18 hours on campus on an almost daily basis. Sometimes more, rarely less. The engineering building is the only one open 24 hours a day. Oh, the life of a computer engineer major. Kirstin's costume came a month before ours did. It was quite the ordeal getting ours because of our mail lady. We weren't even a little embarrassed when a couple guys walked by as we took this because we were so excited to finally have them :)

Last Friday night, all of my roommates were gone. I was bored and decided to make a video to one of our favorite songs, "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift. It's not the greatest music video ever made, obviously, since I have no experience whatsoever. I just had fun messing around with Windows Live Movie Maker. I applaud people that make great music videos because it was hard taking all of the different clips and putting them together and making sure the music synced up close enough with the videos.  It would have been a little easier if I didn't have so many short clips to put together, but in the six videos I filmed of myself, there was still quite a bit of time where I was doing nothing. Even though I was alone, it was still a little awkward for me dance while looking at my phone. The fan I danced with is Sarah's and the cowboy hat is Brianna's. I'm really hoping that only family members (and maybe some really close friends) watch this since I'm pretty embarrassed, but I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out and I hope it puts a smile on your face.