Lessons of Faith

If you've been reading my blog lately, you'll know that it's been a goal of mine to work on developing my faith. I've been seriously lacking in that spiritual department and I've been praying a lot more regularly to help with the process. At church today, all three talks were so perfect and inspired. I love those moments when you hear something right when you need it!

These are the things that resonated with me the most:

It's okay if your faith is imperfect. Imperfect faith does not mean we are less worthy.

I cannot stress how much I needed this! It's hard living in the Provo bubble where it seems like everyone else around me has the most solid testimony and such strong faith. Everyone else is so much more righteous. Everyone else is more worthy and receiving more blessings. Isn't that a terrible and self damaging attitude to have?

It's only been recently as I've been going through some trials that I've noticed how blessed I really am. I am worthy of receiving blessings and of my Heavenly Father's love. Yes, my faith is imperfect. Honestly, whose isn't? I know I'm striving to be better and continually doing the things that I'm supposed to and that's all I can do. This leads perfectly to the next statement I loved.

It's not okay to be content with our level of faith.
Right now I know it's something I definitely need to work on because it's not where I'd like it to be. Faith, just like conversion to the gospel or strengthening your testimony, is an ongoing process. It's so easy to just become stagnant. Our faith can't change and grow if we're not doing anything differently. I'm really pleased with the progress I've been making in this department and it can only get better.

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.
I've shared this quote by President Uchtdorf in post before and I'll probably keep sharing it, because it's that good. Iv'e had a recent experience with this recently while job searching. It's been a long, frustrating, and discouraging process trying to get a new job. Looking for a new job is like a job itself. I had a few interviews that I felt went okay but I didn't get the jobs.

There was one place that finally called me back to offer me a job, and I figured they would, but I didn't have a great feeling about it. I told a white lie saying I had an interview with another company the next day so I would call them back to let them know my decision. After the call, I said a quick prayer hoping that things would work out and that I needed something else to come along. I knew I wouldn't like the company and that the work environment wouldn't have been good for me. They had actually told me upfront that while they "aren't sailors or anything" they do use choice words quite often and that I should be comfortable with it. Not even 10 minutes later, I received a call for an interview with another company. Heavenly Father answers prayers. It may not always be that fast, but he always answers. He really does care about our feelings and knows exactly what we need and when we need it.

I didn't end up getting that job, even after doing a second interview. I thought I did great and they even had me stay and observe to see what the job would be like so I thought I had it. But I was wrong. That's when I started to have doubts. I doubted that I made the wrong choice about turning down the job offer. I started to doubt the bad feelings I had about it, even though I clearly had made the right choice and I had prayed about it. Then I realized that's exactly what Satan does. He makes you doubt what you know. He attacks you when you're weak and vulnerable. I needed to doubt my doubts instead of my faith. I'm grateful for these little learning opportunities

Room Enough For Him

In Sunday school at church, we were talking about the parables in Matthew 13. The first one is the parable of the sower. Some seeds fell on stony ground and they withered away because they had no root. Some fell among thorns and grew, but the thorns choked them out. Others fell on good ground and grew successfully. It was the perfect lesson for me. Right now, I'm like the thorny ground. My faith and testimony are alive and growing, but it's hard not to let other things stop them from growing more. As I've mentioned in past posts, I'm working on developing my faith and doing better at my daily scripture study and prayers. I know that if I keep doing the things I'm supposed to, I'll develop into the good ground.

This lesson reminded me of a song by Jenny Phillips. I couldn't find a YouTube video of it already made, so I made my own video with a picture that I really love. 

Decisions

Hello, it's me again. I'm back! Today during sacrament meeting, I was thinking about a lot of different things. One of the thoughts I had was relating blogging to the atonement. Weird, I know. A couple people had talked about writing in their journals and it made me think about how much I missed blogging. With the atonement, we can repent and be forgiven of our sins. We're not perfect and we are going to make mistakes, but we have a way to start fresh and do better. I seem to keep starting and stopping with blogging. I've faltered countless times at being consistent, but I always come back to it. It doesn't matter how much time has passed between posts. It's never too late to use the atonement in our lives and it's never too late for me to start blogging again. Writing this blog has been therapeutic for me in the past and I feel its something I need now. As with any habit, it's going to take time and work to do this regularly again, but I'll get there.

Normally, I'm pretty bad about remembering about fast Sunday until the morning of so I never really plan out what I'm fasting for unless there is something important or significant on my mind. As many of my friends and family know, I have been planning to go teach English in China through ILP for a while now. I was pretty dead set on going in January. Lately I've started wondering if now is the time to go. There have just been little things popping up and making me rethink my decision. I still want to go, but just not now. One of the biggest factors is my new position at work. It was an unexpected opportunity/promotion that came up last month. I'm happier and making more money which I can use to go to China at a later date and still have money for when I come back instead of going now and coming back close to broke. I know money isn't everything and this isn't the only reason why I've considered postponing going. I decided to fast today to help me decide and I came to conclusion to wait. So, I'll most likely be going next fall.

Since it's been so long, I have more that I want to post, but I'll save it for tomorrow.

Right Place, Right Time

I know I haven't written in a while (no surprise there), but as it's Sunday and I have time to think and ponder about different things I just had to blog. Last night my team from work got together for a bonfire. We met at work and then carpooled to the canyon. I got a ride my co-worker Josh. One of my co-workers, "Banks", wasn't going to come but we convinced him so he rode with us.We stayed for a little bit, but left early because there was just so much stuff that made us uncomfortable. While we were dropping Banks off, we ended up sitting in the car for an hour talking about different things.

Being a member of the church, I know that everything happens for a reason and I've always heard and kind of known that Heavenly Father puts people in our path because we need them or they need us. Last night was one of those times that really strengthened my testimony. I know that it's true. During work earlier yesterday, Josh and I had been talking about some things and they totally coincided with the situation and topics we talked about last night.

At the end of our discussion, Josh wanted to show Banks a video on his phone (gotta love technology) that he really loves. I ended up benefiting from it as well. The spirit was so strong in that car. I love that we can feel the spirit anytime and anywhere, even an empty parking lot at 11 PM. Banks was glad he went even though he didn't want to originally and we all agreed that what happened after we left the bonfire was why he went. We were in the right place at the right time. The Lord's timing is amazing. Heavenly Father is amazing. He has a plan for us and knows us and what we need better than we know ourselves. Last night made me want to be better at doing the basics (saying my prayers and daily scripture study, etc) to help me be more in tune with the spirit and better prepared if a similar situation arises.

The video he shared has now become one of my favorites and I want to share it with you.

 

Words to the Wise

I really love the way my blog looks now and I really wanted to post something. So... here are more things I learned and liked from conference. Enjoy being enlightened or just refresh your memory.

Russell M. Nelson

• Our faith now becomes part of our posterity's faith later
• Parent's bear the primary responsibility of strengthening the children's faith
• Obedience allows God's blessings to flow without constraint
• Unfailing faith is fortified through prayer
• President Monson said, "...Fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."

Richard J. Maynes

• Learning, teaching, and practicing the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes helps create a culture where the spirit can dwell
• Parents are responsible for teaching their children in love and righteousness. Parents will be held accountable  before the Lord in how they perform their sacred responsibilities.
• We should do everything in our power to establish a Christ-centered home

Dallin H. Oaks (I really loved this talk)

• Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.
• The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.
• Righteous desires cannot be superficial, impulsive, or temporary. They must be heartfelt, unwavering, and permanent.

President Uchtdorf

• Those who diligently seek to learn of Christ eventually will come to know him
• If we ignore the promptings of the spirit, they become less noticeable until we can't hear them at all
• Selfless acts of service and consecration refine our spirits
• By becoming the answer to some else's prayer, we often find the answer to our own - I've actually noticed this in my own life
• The most effective way to preach the gospel is through example

Paul V. Johnson

• "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted." ~Orson F. Whitney - This was the second time this quote was shared during conference. Repetition = important. It may not seem like it when you're dealing with things, but afterwards you realize that it's true. This is something that I struggled with for a long time. Now I'm grateful for the opportunities I'm given to grow, even when they are difficult or painful.
• We need to remember that "after much tribulation come the blessings" (D&C 58:4)
• We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13) - I know for me, having a testimony of the atonement and knowing that Christ has been where I am gives me the strength I need to overcome whatever come my way. 
• Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day (Alma 36:3) - We need to have faith. We need to "trust in the Lord with all thine heart" (Proverbs 3:5, yay for scripture mastery)

Silvia H. Allred

• Loving and serving one another is the essence of discipleship in the Church of Christ
• When love becomes the guiding principle in our care for others, our service to them becomes the gospel in action
• The pure love of Christ is expressed as we give selfless service

I Love Old Men

Not in a weird way, but in that aww...what a cute old man kind of way. The way you love your grandpa kind of way. Why am I talking about old men? Because a little over a week ago, I had the opportunity to listen to some very special and profound lovely old men of God. I'm referring to General Conference. For anyone that doesn't know what I'm talking about, feel free to find out here (yay for a possible missionary opportunity!). Anyways, I love conference. It may not appear that way when I happen to fall asleep every time, but I really do. Even with enough sleep the night before, I still have to fight the ever increasing weight of my eyelids as I watch. Which brings me back to old men. I think it's their voices. There's something so soothing about listening to old men talk. Am I the only one that feels that way? It's sad that I miss out on some great insights, inspiring words, and important  life counsel when I lose the fight with my eyelids. I am getting better though, I stayed awake for more conference this time compared to October. Lucky for me they put the talks online and have the conference edition of the Ensign.

I've started reading the talks online, including the ones I was awake for. I missed some good quotes because I couldn't write fast enough or I lost (or was in the process of losing) the head bobbing battle. You know what I'm talking about. So just a heads up, future posts will probably be conference related as I read and find things I like and want to share.

One that I read today was by President Boyd K. Packer, titled "Guided By the Holy Spirit". One quote from his talk that I really liked was, "If you have been offended, forgive, forget it, and leave it alone." I needed to hear this one after an incident last week. There were some comments in a family newsletter that really upset and offended me. I need to forgive this person because they are dealing with their own pain regarding a certain matter and I need to forget about it. I have no problem with leaving it alone because I don't want to cause problems by saying anything about it. I'm a person that tries to avoid confrontation as much as possible, unless it's really necessary. Then I have no problem (*cough* my mother).

Another thing I liked from his talk came from the title page of The Book of Mormon. "And now, if there are faults they are the mistakes of men; wherefore, condemn not the things of God, that ye may be found spotless at the judgment-seat of Christ." I think more people need to learn this. Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to everyone. Don't blame God for these things. Yeah he gives us some difficult roadblocks in our lives, but it's not all him. There are other people responsible. A few years ago when my world was falling apart, surprisingly I didn't blame my Heavenly Father for what was happening. I did think "why me?"(who doesn't?), but I didn't blame him and think how he could let this happen to my family. [The why me was really more along the lines of "why more crap?" (because I've had my fair share), rather than why me instead of someone else. Not that I'm saying other people don't go through as much as me, because I'm not.]

This actually goes with something from Elder Richard's talk. "Opposition is part of our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father's love and of our need for the Savior's help." He goes on to say, "The savior is not a silent observer. He himself knows personally and infinitely the pain we face." This is so true. Confession: I know I'm definitely more consistent with my prayers when I'm going through a difficult or painful trial because I become more aware of the fact that I need more help and comfort than others can give me. It always reconfirms and strengthens my testimony of faith, prayer, and the atonement.

President Packer ended with this counsel: Do a lot of forgiving and a little repenting. I know forgiving people is hard. It's something I admit to struggling with and I'm sure many other people do too. But here's a thought. Which is harder? Forgiving someone or having to repent (admitting your mistakes to God and asking him for forgiveness)? Yes, I can be deep sometimes.

Spiritually Saturated

Today was stake conference for the BYU 22nd stake. Presiding was Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the seventy. I think he was my favorite speaker today. He spoke during both the general and adult session, but we're all adults so...yeah. Basically everyone attends both sessions. I love Sunday's where I come home feeling enlightened and taking something from the talks that have been given. It was a very spiritually uplifting day, as it should be...I did spend four hours at church. I was like a sponge just soaking it all in. Anyway, I just wanted to share a few things that he shared that I really enjoyed or felt like it applied to me.

He shared this quote by Winston Churchill: "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without a loss of enthusiasm." Not only do I really like this, but it was something I needed to hear. I hate when I feel like I've let myself down and when I've let other's w down, especially my family. I tend to dwell on my failures. It's something I definitely need to change. I need to remember that when I fail at something, it's not the end of the world. Nobody's perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and I need to get up and dust myself off when I fall. I need to remember to remain enthusiastic and optimistic when I stumble. You can't change the past, you can only move forward and move forward with a positive attitude.

Elder Robbins and a counselor in the Stake Relief Society Presidency both talked about listening to the counsel of the prophet and the apostles, even when we don't completely understand or when it doesn't seem logical at the time. There is safety in following the prophet. Elder Robbins shared a story that is a great example of this.

On November 23, 1996, Ethiopian Airlines flight 961 was hijacked by three Ethiopians that wanted to seek political asylum in Australia. They stormed the cockpit and forced the co-pilot to leave. The hijackers told the captain that they had a bomb and would blow up the plane if their demands were not met. The captain told them they didn't have enough fuel to make it to Australia. The hijackers didn't believe him. He decided to follow the African coastline hoping they wouldn't notice, but they did and forced him to fly East. He knew of an airstrip on a nearby island where he could make a safe landing because they were running out of fuel from flying around off course.

When they ran out of fuel and the engines failed, he was going to make the emergency landing, but a fight at the last minute with one of the hijackers made him lose his visual of the airport. he knew the only option left was to make a water landing. He made an announcement telling the passengers and to put on their life vests, but NOT to inflate them yet. People started to inflate them anyways. One first class passenger even said, The captain told us not to inflate them". The passengers were thinking, "Well, we're going to be in the water anyway, so why not inflate it now?"

Well, the left engine and wingtip struck the water first and caused plane to spin and break apart into three sections. Of the 172 people on board, only 50 survived. A majority of the 122 that didn't survive was because they inflated their life jackets after being told not to. Once they hit the water and the sections of plane filled up, they floated to the top of the cabin and became trapped.

(There are videos on YouTube of the crash if you feel so inclined.)

I have a testimony of following the prophet, but this story illustrated the importance even more so. Even when it seems so simple or it doesn't fully make sense, we still need to listen. There is safety in following the prophet.

One theme for today, as I'm sure is the theme in many BYU wards (the single ones), is DATING & MARRIAGE. Yeah, only at BYU. The prophet has recently said that he's concerned about the lack of dating which is going on among LDS young adults. It's so true! Guys don't ask girls out. What's up with that? Our stake presidency brings this up EVERY time they speak. Today the guys were basically ordered to get a friend and ask girls out for a double date. It was funny and everyone was laughing, but let's hope that they actually follow through.

One other funny thing, Elder Robbins compared chastity to a chocolate chip cookie (everyone was craving cookies by the end of the session). He was making the point that "Temptation is easier to avoid than resist". If you're on a diet, it's easier to avoid the temptation by not having cookies in the house instead of trying to resist them when they are fresh out of the oven and on the kitchen counter. Same thing for remaining sexually pure; just completely avoid situations that would cause temptation instead of trying to resist it once it's already there.

All of the other talks were great as well, but I didn't want to make this post too long so I just shared my favorite bits & pieces.

And now a shout out to my girl

Thank you so much for becoming a follower of my blog! You are an awesome roommate and great friend. I'm really glad I got to know you and I'm so excited to live with you again next year. More good times ahead :) Thanks again!!